Allow your children the freedom to bloom, when they are ready and when you’ve given them all they need to flourish right where they are.
I have started running again after a 2 month break due to illness. So, yesterday, I donned my shoes and off I went. On my return, I ran passed this little bush of “whirling butterflies” growing merrily in a crack of cement. The plant was blooming and looked quite happy where it was.
Then, it struck me. This bush probably never chose to be planted (probably via wind pollination) in that tiny space. The seed grew and now it is flowering for all to see. There are hundreds of plants dying right where they are due to the drought that Cape Town is in right now. When I look at this bush, I can see that it sent its roots deep down and despite the odds against it, it is flowering. What a strange thought on a run.
Raising kids is a little like that analogy. We can’t always choose the circumstances our children face on a day-to-day basis. They arrive at a new school or meet a group of friends or start a new hobby and suddenly we see them ‘planted’ in a space. Whether we like to admit it or not, hard times come.
Belong to thrive
So, how does blooming look like? It can look like you recognising the season or place you are in. Then, it can look like you making sure your children receive the love and support they so desperately at home. Home can be that being a place of belonging and connection. If your children’s love tanks are filled up by their parents, then you give them the capacity to endure hardship. You help them by creating space for them to process the things they are going through, a hug after school, a chocolate milk waiting for them or giving them space to breathe.
Growing up can be hard. Especially for a child. They change so rapidly that we can hardly keep up. Blooming right where you are means that it is possible for you to thrive and for them to flourish as well. It means that we accept there are certain things that we cannot change, but that we can make sure that create that safe place for our family to belong. If you’d like to print and work through this sheet to help your kids to thrive, then please download this free printable: Questions for parents
To belong is one of the deepest needs a human being has. When our children know that they belong and are safe, they are able to grow and develop into who God made them to be. We should find ways to remind our children that they belong – in your home and in your hearts. Remind your children that it’s not what they know, but who they are – and that matters more. Remind them that they are loved. They are wanted. They are accepted and that they belong, just by being who they are. This is how we create a place for them to blossom.